A Room Mom's Predicament

For Teacup's class Valentine's party at school, I organized the festivities with the help of the other room mom. We carefully planned out the games (something developmentally appropriate), the craft (something that wouldn't require "drying" time) and snacks (something to accommodate everyone's allergies). We carefully called extra moms to volunteer their time to help.

Asking for parent volunteers is always a balancing act. On the one hand, I can't ask for too many volunteers because the teachers don't like the parental intrusion (understandably for many young kids, a mom's presence or absence can be awfully emotional). On the other hand, given the young age of these kids, nearly every parent wants to volunteer. Being as reasonable as possible, I try to be fair, rotating the parents among events. As expected, there are more volunteers than there are opportunities.

There's always at least one parent in every group who seems to think they're above what's "fair".

One, unnamed mom, tends to be a continual thorn in my side. She complains about everything - the order of activities, the quality of the craft, the lack of drink options appealing to her son, etc. The list seems endless with her. In my mind, I remind myself that I'm the room mom, not a social director or a cocktail waitress. I'm volunteering my time to be with the kids, show my support to the school and help my child to enjoy her education. Furthermore, this unnamed mom was given her chance to volunteer previously.

At the Valentine's party, the unnamed mom appeared unexpectedly. As she helped myself and the other teacher-approved volunteer moms set up for the party, I battled internally. How should I handle this situation? Clearly, she's not supposed to be here. What should I do? My fear was that the moms who were scheduled to be there would be "boxed out" of the activities.

I approached each mom and doled out assignments. She finally asked, "What do you want me to do?"

Given the lack of diplomacy I sometimes (okay, often) have, I blurted out, "Well, I don't have an assignment for you because you've already had a chance to volunteer and these other moms haven't. I'm sorry."

Huffy, she eventually departed. As I recounted the story to Ken, he assured me that I've made a school enemy who will probably be out to get me for the remainder of our children's school years together.

Sadly, I know he's right.