Running with Scissors

I recently finished reading Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.



Minimally, the book was disturbing.

The book chronicles part of Burroughs' childhood. I survived the narrative only because Burroughs tells the story in such a composed manner. Throughout, I felt like I was reading a letter written by a close friend about his experiences at summer camp. His tone and writing style spoke to me in an every-day manner, but the sum of the words amounted to shocking accounts.

I was struck by his descriptions about feeling trapped by too much freedom as a teenager. The guy basically had zero authority figure in his life and virtually no limits placed on him by anyone, let alone an adult.

Burroughs wrote, "Freedom was what we had.... So why did we feel so trapped? Why did I feel like I had no options in my life when it seemed that options were the only thing I did have?"

No one gave this guy any direction. If he wanted to skip school for 21 days straight, no one cared but the school district. And even, then, they don't care either until an underage child misses 30 consecutive days of school. No one cared if and when he went to bed. No one cared if he got drunk and puked his brains out on the living room couch.

Honestly, I can't imagine spending my teenage years like this. However, this freedom is what nearly every teenager claims he or she desires most.

Burroughs continues, "More than anything, I wanted to break free. But free from what? That was the problem. Because I didn't know what I wanted to break free from, I was stuck."

The author finishes the chapter with, "The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do."

So, for as much flack as I receive from loved ones about the rules I have set in our home, this memoir gives me solace that my kids have some structure and some limitations in their lives. The limits give them a sense of control over their sheltered world. Once they have independent lives in their own homes, they can have all of the freedom they want. Until then, it's Daddio and my house and our rules!