Protecting the Gift

Having grown up in a fairly safe environment in Iowa, as a young adult I was unaware the degree to which nefarious people inhabit this earth. It took living in New York City along with my midwestern cognitive education to become acquainted with what atrocious crimes people are capable and willing to commit against humanity. Maybe it's to a fault, but I have learned to trust my instincts when I encounter questionable circumstances. Furthermore, now that I am a mother, my first and foremost purpose in life is to protect my children from harm's way. My own mother describes me as a mama bear protecting her cubs.

I try to be extra aware of my surroundings when we are out and about town (which is usually daily unless there is an illness), especially when with the kids. At the grocery store today, a homeless-looking woman snuck up behind me as I pulled Dagny out of her car-seat. She asked me for five dollars. My immediate reaction was, "No! I don't carry cash with me." And I quickly walked to the entrance of the grocery store. Maybe my internal alarm bells rang because I am out of practice encountering those with mental and physical problems openly on the street in my current neighborhood. Perhaps, I just don't like to have strangers approach me quickly and quietly from behind. Either way, my instinct was to get my child to a safe place immediately.

As I paid for our groceries, the cashier asked if I needed assistance loading the car. I hesitated but declined; however, I mentioned the panhandler situation to her. I exited the store, searched the parking lot for the begging woman and noticed that she was two rows away. In my head, I had plenty of time to dump the groceries in the back end of the car, plop Dagny in her car-seat and get myself buckled into the car and the car doors locked before the woman could approach us again. That plan turned out to be overly optimistic. Before I could throw two grocery bags into the back of the car, the panhandler quickly darted our way. This time, without hesitation, I closed the car, grabbed the grocery cart with Dagny still sitting there and headed for the entrance of the store.

As I rushed back into the store to ask for assistance loading my car, I wondering why I was so alarmed. I imagined that this unknown panhandler would pull out a concealed weapon and threaten my daughter. Perhaps I have seen too many Hollywood action flicks. My fear could have been entirely irrational, but I was not willing to take a chance. Most likely, if I were on a solo trip to the grocery store, I would have felt no anxiety and only considered it odd that someone was begging for money at the grocery store for the first time in two years.

At the time, I felt bad about my reaction to this woman. Clearly, she needed help due to her mental and physical state. I feel bad about the way I treated her, but I surely don't feel bad about my decision to protect my child. In fact, if the same situation arises tomorrow, I will react similarly.

Recently, a friend told me that she had been molested by her grandfather during her childhood. When she told her parents, they chose not to believe her. I want to be a parent who protects my children from ALL harmful situations. I want to be a parent who is an advocate for my children and possible future grandchildren. I think in order to successfully protect my offspring, I will need to trust my instincts and believe what my children tell me. If I do not listen to my kids, who will?

One of the major atrocities of this country is that the government and American adult voters continue to cut funding for youth programs in favor of the elderly. I wish more parents and grandparents would stand up and vote for the future instead of short-term solutions for selfish gain. My childhood was a wonderful time. I would like my children to have an opportunity to have a better life than I have had. If parents and grandparents worried less about what their "due" is and focused more on the potential for the future, our world would be a much better place. Why not try to leave this world a better one than when you entered it?