A Truly Magical Guy

With Thanksgiving behind us, the girls are obsessed with Santa Claus.

Dagny sometimes self-corrects her mischief two-year-old behavior, as she says, "Santa Claus knows what I'm doing, mommy!"

Meanwhile, Valerie ponders the idea of Santa Claus.

Today, she asked me, "Can Santa Claus really see me?"

"Yes," I replied.

Fully analyzing my answer, she pressed further, "How can he see me?"

"Honey, he's a magical guy," which was enough of an answer for now.

What will she ask tomorrow....

Will Santa See Himself?

Today, the girls pleaded and pleaded to put up the Christmas decorations around the house. Namely, they wanted to put up the Christmas tree. Perhaps they believe Christmas will come sooner with the decorations in their places.

At one point, while trimming the tree, Valerie asked, "Will Santa see himself when he comes to our house?"

I probed, "What do you mean? Are you asking if he can see himself in the mirror?"

She said, "No, will he see himself on our tree?!"

Finally realizing what she was getting at, I replied, "Yes, he will be able to see all of the ornaments on our tree that look like him. Yes, of course, he will see himself!"

She smiled and continued to carefully and methodically place the miniature Santa ornaments on the tree.

The Pillars of Character

Apparently, child educators have taken on teaching basic values to children. Each month, Valerie's school opts to focus on one of the six pillars of character in the classroom. I don't remember doing this when I was in preschool or elementary school. But back then, parents and grandparents usually provided these life lessons at home. Perhaps families are too busy these days. Somebody should be responsible for teaching these basic codes of behavior in our society to our future leaders.

Overall, I agree that these pillars of character are a good idea. Yet, I can't help but wonder how these pillars are a bit contradictory. A perfect example arose the other day.

Despite the current concentration on the virtue of "caring", Valerie asked me if I was, "carrying a baby in my tummy".

Not sure where this was going, I responded, "No, honey. I don't have a baby in my tummy. Do you want a baby sister or brother?"

Valerie flatly remarked, "No mommy. You just look like you have a baby in your belly."

I wanted to shout, "But, I go to the gym! I only weigh 118 pounds and am still a size 4 or 6 (depending on the cut)! I've given birth to two kids via cesarean section! My mid-section doesn't look THAT bad!"

Instead, I gritted my teeth and focused on her demonstration of honesty. I wondered when would be a good time to teach the grey area of these six pillars of character. Her honesty completely blew away the "caring" pillar.

I know a few adults who could use a lesson in this grey area, too.

Thirty-Ten

Valerie: Mom, how old are you?

Me: Thirty-five.

Valerie: Then you'll be thirty-six.

Me: Yes

Valerie: Then you'll be thirty-seven.

Me: You got it.

Valerie: Then you'll be thirty-eight.

Me: Yep, you're a good counter.

Valerie: Then you'll be thirty-nine.

Me: You're right on track, honey.

Valerie: Then you'll be thirty-ten.

Me: Also known as, forty.

Valerie: No you'll be THIRTY-TEN!

Me: I guess thirty-ten sounds better than forty.

Guess how much....?

Valerie reminded me that next week is Thanksgiving. It falls on the same day as her "share" day at school.

Disappointed that she will be missing the ever-so-important "share" day at school, I suggested we have a share day at our house on Thanksgiving. To make it more appealing, I offered that she could have "share" time with our Thanksgiving guests, including Grandma Gwen, Grandpa Jim, Aunt Sarah and her cousin Abby. This news solicited a smile.

"Mom, you know what? Grandma and Grandpa are going to see me and tell me I've grown so big and ask me what I've been eating to grow so tall!"

I ventured, "What will you tell them?"

"I've been eating DONUTS!"

He Know If You've Been Bad or Good...

I don't recall exactly how it started.

I must have been irritated with the antics of a two-and-a-half year old. It's easy for any parent to feel like he or she is coming to the end of his or her rope with a child this age.

At the time, she was probably hanging from a chandelier or something comparable. But, knowing that we were nearing the holiday season, a song came to popped into my mind:

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list,
Checking it twice,
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town!

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town!

The line that popped into my mind and out of my mouth was "He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake!"

Ever since, whenever Dagny does something she knows is inappropriate behavior, she'll tell me, "Santa Claus knows what I'm doing, mommy!" Then, she self-corrects.

The over-commercialization of this holiday may not be so bad after all.

Lessons Learned

Parents and children had more personal freedoms when I grew up. Of course, that's my perception. But, some of life's lessons were not necessarily taught to me by my parents or my teachers. They just came from personal experiences of what worked and what didn't.

For example, I don't remember my mother nagging me to wear a specific type of shoe to school. I don't recall the "rules" about the types of shoes a child could wear to school. The way I remember it, if I wore the wrong shoes to school, I quickly discovered my mistake when I couldn't properly grip the jungle gym with my feet. The next day, and thereafter until my memory lapsed due to the discovery of a fashionable alternative, I wore the appropriate feet gear.

Recently, I purchased Valerie the ugly, but growing in popularity, croc shoes. Upon receipt, the shoes won a very warm reception and were chosen to be worn to school. The shoes technically fit into the "covered toes" category, but clearly they were not going to be useful for climbing on playground equipment. Being a mother prone to nagging, I recall questioning my daughter's decision. "Valerie, those shoes are not appropriate to wear to school. Your sneakers are a better choice." As expected, she rejected my opinion. For the first time in two years of attending school, I opted to let her learn for herself.

Little did I know, that HER choice would be my fault.

Picking Valerie up from school that afternoon, she immediately expressed her outrage. "MOMMY, Ms. S said that YOU should NOT let me wear these shoes to school," she reprimanded.

Interested to understand what transpired, I asked, "Why?"

Valerie explained, "Because I will slip and fall and HURT myself."

Looking for more, I asked, "So did you?"

Valerie said, "No. Ms. S wouldn't let me play on the playground because these shoes are dangerous."

That's very interesting.... Now, she knows that she can't wear the shoes on the playground because of what she was TOLD, not because of what she experienced.

I assumed that was the end of the event, until I opened Valerie's backpack which carried a personal note from Ms. S. It said, "Mrs Haim, While Valerie's shoes are very cute, please do not let Valerie wear these shoes to school. They are unsafe for playing outside. Thank you for your help and understanding in this matter."

At first, I felt guilty. How could a caring, responsible mother send her offspring to school in unsafe shoes?

Then, I grew a little miffed. Why is this my fault? At some point, children will have to learn about life via the traditional trial and error method. Perhaps this is how adults are failing children these days - children haven't learned anything from personal experience because they just aren't ALLOWED to make natural mistakes anymore. Perhaps this is why kids who graduate from college these days are incapable of making independent decisions.

Then it hit me. Ms. S doesn't know whether or not I'm one of those parents whose lawyers will show up threatening to sue the school in the event she falls and breaks a limb. I don't think I'm one of those parents. But then again, Valerie hasn't broken a limb on school grounds, yet.

At Your Service

The girls opted to eat their lunch on their outdoor picnic table.

But, Ken and I were informed that we should eat our lunch in the kitchen "just in case [the kids] NEED something".

Glad to know our services are appreciated. Apparently, we are a little TOO accommodating.

So, we ate lunch outside, too, to clearly show that the inmates aren't entirely running the asylum.

Birthday Wishes

Today was my birthday.

At one point, I told my girls so and asked them if they wanted to wish me a happy birthday.

Pausing at the news, Dagny announced, "Mommy, I two and a half!" I was pleased that she understood the association of age and birthdays.

On the other hand, Valerie explained that she was too tired to wish me a happy birthday.

I responded, singing, "Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess I'll go eat worms."

That certainly created a rise out of my eldest daughter. "Ewe, mom. Worms are SOOO gross!"

I waited a few moments and informed her that on her next birthday, I was NOT going to wish her well, since she can't seem to be nice to her mother on her special day.

At this unexpected news, Valerie flatly stated, "Then I guess I'll go play with bugs, too."

In the end, Valerie came through by picking some flowers in the garden to honor my special day.

If you swallow a.....

On the way home from school in the car Valerie announced, "Mom. Did you know that if you swallow a knife, you will bleed a lot and die!"

That seems like an accurate observation. How did you arrive at that assessment, my dear? How about we NOT test that hypothesis?