Magnified Mistakes

All parents make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a parent who doesn't need advice from a parenting book. Ken and I have already made mistakes, but hopefully none are serious infraction.

While not a complete blunder, one of my misjudgements of which I am frequently reminded occurred about two years ago while pregnant. In a particularly protuberant state, the daily task of bathing VV became too laborious. So, at eight months expectant, the best way I could manage scrubing the Brooklyn filth from my eldest child required my joining her in the tub. With my naked presense in the bath, VV was infatuated with my bulbous body. Not noticing the significant rise in the water level, VV immediately pointed to my bulging mammaries. "What is that?" she pointed.

Promising myself to have an open relationship with my offspring, I reponded, "These are my boobs!" This became part of our daily routine for four or five weeks, at which point, she discovered her first naked Barbie at a friend's house, pointed, and declared, "Boobs!"

Mortified, I reproached myself. What was I thinking? When pressed, why couldn't I have said, This is my chest? Or bosom, or even breast? Why did I have to blurt out, "These are my boobs!"?

At opportune times, I've tried to ingrain new vocabulary to no avail. So, to a certain extent, I've given up on teaching VV more appropriate terminology for that part of the body. Fortunately, so far, I have not made the same mistake with my second child. Then again, that part of my body is no longer a major attraction. My sister even refers to them as having gone "native".

Yet, somehow, the older kids always seem to glob onto those parental mistakes and teach their younger siblings exactly what you were hoping they would forget.

Last night, during bathtime, Dagny stood, pointed to her child-like nipples and exclaimed, "BOOBIES!"

Clearly, I know WHO taught her this? But, WHEN did she learn such terminology? Do I really want to know?

Kids always seem to magnify parental faults.